Ew well, I ate and I cant go to sleep because I ate. I feel like if I go to sleep all the food that I ate will go everywhere to my body and I'll wake up, obese. Im so scared, above anything else thats my biggest fear... gaining weight. Becoming someone that everyone does so ass a fat ass. (although I wouldnt be surprised if they call me that now) Thats also why Im going on this fast, i need to lose ten pounds, well I need to lose more than that but for now, anyways so thats why Im going on a fast. 10 days. Thats not that much, but it's enough so that I can lose at least 10-15 pounds-ish.
Today went by really slowly for as well, this guy that I liked told me yesterday that he "liked" me but there was another girl that hes known longer that he wants to give a shot... because they have "potential" This is the reason why I just dont want to put myself out there, the girl that hes talking to probably is way skinnier and prettier, Im just a fat mess... I hate myself. For not being BETTER. For not being the one that if put in the position the guy would chose hands down. But Im not. Instead im second best, if that! Im probably like 10th best. 
I'm tall and fat. 
Thats ogre status. 
Im a disgusting mess.

Height:
5'9-5'10
Weight:
173
Goal Weight1:
165

8 pounds. For a fast... its just the beggining although I know that by Sunday I will have lost more. I run a lot, I have Softball and after conditioning I come home and sometimes run more. And then I run in the mornings. Yet my thighs are still disgusting. They look like at any moment they're going to tear and all my fats going to come pouring out. I will just have to work even harder, eat even less. All in the hope that one day I will be happy with my appearence. One day. 

Stay Strong.<3